OK, so things got a little messy on Friday. The last thing I remember was being at Karaoke Box singing Born in the USA with Molly. I staggered into the airport at 10am, and literally cried when they told me i had missed my flight. Fortunately the check in girl took pity on me onto another flight leaving at 11.30. I slept the entire way there, and woke up as the plane hit the tarmac. I was still a little hazy, and felt like shit, but staggered through to customs. And this is where my troubles really began.
I tried to explain to the customs lady that i was visiting New York “through” my work, but not “for” work (don’t ever go there with US customs – they just don’t get it). So i changed tack, and said i was just here for pleasure, just to watch the Superbowl. She looked at me suspisiously and called over her supervisor. Admitedly, i was sweating, stank of booze, and generally looked pretty dishevelled, so she had her reasons to be suspiscious of me. But any doubts that she or her supervisor may have had, instantly evaporated when I projectile vomited all over them.
It’s hard to describe the atmosphere. There was a palpable silence, followed by gasps from the waiting crowds. Followed by more silence. It should have felt like an eternity, but it only took them about 5 seconds to handcuff me.
I spent the next 2 days alone in a holding cell at JFK. The closest I got to the Superbowl was hearing the guards watch the game down the corridor. I was charged with “assaulting 2 customs officers” (WTF?) Charges were dropped on the condition I return to the UK, and I am banned from returning to the USA for 10 years. A little harsh. On Monday I was placed on a flight back to the UK, where I was questioned by British police for 4 hours.
I went straight into 4Creative to explain myself. The police had already informed them of what had happened, and I truly expected to get the sack. Instead i got a standing ovation, and some pats on the back. Still shaking, I recounted my run-in with The Americans. Apparently a similar thing happened to Rory a couple of years before. Phil said he was truly proud of me. Tom T promised me a small pay rise. And that’s how messed up this place is.
